How I Changed My Weight Loss Message

When I first entered into the weight loss market, I fell into the same trap that most every provider does.  I started telling everyone I saw that “you can do it”, or “lose all the weight you want”.  Then about six months in, I started networking with physicians and directly with obese individuals – and let me tell you, the saccharine and maudlin notions of “you can lose all the weight you want” fell right out the window for two main reasons.

First, physicians deal with really tough cases.  A sample patient may be an individual who is 60 years old, have had one heart attack, have had high blood pressure, have diabetes and have weakened joints from carrying around significantly excess amounts of weight.  And for those of you who didn’t spot it, if someone is diabetic, they may be taking medications that actually have the side effect of weight gain, so those individuals have to choose between weight loss and managing a very nasty chronic condition.  Those individuals are not as likely to lose weight as a 40 year old with no medical conditions.

The second reason my approach of “you can lose all the weight you want” is that some obese individuals are very happy with their body types – plain and simple.  They are not looking for massive amounts of weight loss, but rather simply looking for ways to manage certain aspects of obesity.  Messages of “you can lose all the weight you want” assume that an obese person wants to lose weight.

As I sit here and type this, I am almost shocked that my background as a therapist did not stop me from initially pursuing these messages.  I regularly counsel depressed individuals whose weight fluctuates not only because of the condition in general but because of their medications.  Also, I fundamentally forgot a main outcome of therapy – a patient who can accept themselves is a patient who no longer needs therapy!  I completely missed these very important parts of my job in favour of being caught-up in hype.

As I sit here and write this article I think about why I let myself get caught up in the “hype” of weight loss messages given my background.  I think at first, it was because I wanted to make money and because I wanted to reflect the messages that the market wanted.  However, reality set in.  Long-term weight loss is not easy.  Messages of “everyone can lose weight” are harmful to people who have health or psychological conditions that make weight loss a challenge.  What if people are happy the way they are?

Now when I deliver weight loss messages, rather than delivering a rah-rah message, I deliver one that is much more respectful and tempered.  I tell people that the goal of weight loss is not losing weight but accepting yourself because that acceptance will guide you through the journey better than any message I provide.  When I work with people on the start of their weight loss journey, I guide them through awareness of their thoughts and their body.  I discuss blocks that stop people from listening to themselves, or blocks that derail them.  I help them sort out the deep conflicts they have with weight, trauma, comments made to them throughout their lives, using food to cope and other factors that influence their weight.

When awareness and acceptance is in place, humility will follow, and with humility comes perspective.  With all those in place – humility, perspective, awareness and acceptance, the weight loss journey becomes your own.  Ask someone who’s done it and you’ll find these are the drivers of success.  It is unfortunate that humility does not seem to sell as well as messages of “you can do it”, “everyone can lose as much weight as they want” and “steely determination is all you need”.  What I can say is this though – it’s a good thing I’ve learned my lesson, and I hope you will too.